Tuesday Review: Hot Tub Time Machine

Editor’s Note: Hey guys.  It’s good to be back. Today is the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of Embrace the Mediocre. SERIOUSLY. I know we’ve been lax about our posts this last semester, but we’re going to celebrate a year’s worth of reviewing mediocre movies anyway. So do shots for us! Because Geoff and I will still be working on our MA projects.

Geoff:
Hot Tub Time Machine follows in the footsteps of Snakes on a Plane, the idea being a studio film so steeped in its own amusingly direct title that it’s guaranteed at least a little profit and some cheap laughs from people who think the studio’s being cleverly self-aware rather than being cleverly manipulative in getting you to notice and be amused by its self-awareness. What’s the difference to them as long as they get their money, right?

John Cusack plays a guy who’s meant to stand in as a generic John Cusack character. He doesn’t even need a name, and I certainly didn’t remember it until I looked it up on IMDB. It’s Adam. No last name. That’s the kind of character development we’re dealing with here. At the beginning of the movie, he’s just divorced his wife (or broken up with his girlfriend? It’s not even all that established), and his nephew (Clark Duke) is living in the basement and feeding off the light from his laptop as he builds his Second Life character. Adam used to have two best friends, a black one named Nick (Craig Robinson) who used to sing but is now employed at a workout center for pets and a wild one named Lou (Rob Corddry) who used to and still does get drunk and who’s unable to hold down a break pedal much less a job. Lou careens into his own garage one night, closes the garage door, and almost asphyxiates himself on car fumes while jamming out to a song. His old friends, thinking he’s made a suicide attempt, meet up with him at the hospital and opt to take him to their old haunt, which turns out to be a ski resort that used to be Partytown, USA but is now boarded-up and defunct. While at the resort, the four hop in the hot tub, get drunk, and the next morning they discover they’re in 1986. What’s more, the three older men appear young again, and they quickly realize they have to follow in their youthful footsteps lest they wind up changing the future by doing something different.

Of course, all of this is an excuse for a series of comedy set pieces, only a scant few of which are actually amusing. There’s a funny sideplot involving Crispin Glover’s arm (yes, he makes an appearance), and there’s a reference to the movie Red Dawn that inspires some laughter, but the majority of the humor involves Rob Corddry throwing up, getting punched in the face or making jokes about getting/giving head. The other plot that’s going on is John Cusack meeting up with a pretty writer (Lizzy Caplan) from Spin magazine after breaking up with his ’80s girlfriend (Lyndsy Fonseca) to maintain the sequence of historical events. For the most part the time travel here just feels like a convenient plot device the studio’s using to continue pairing 40-something John Cusack with 20-something women.

Is the whole “don’t change anything in the past” plot forgotten almost as soon as it’s introduced? Yes. Does John Cusack end up with the lady from Spin? Duh. Is there any dramatic tension (or even just adequate non sequitor humor) to make the film compelling or to get us to care whether Cusack et al. make it back to the present? No. No there’s not. I wish I could say better things about this movie, but the better things just aren’t there.

Susan:
Oh Geoff.  You’re not WRONG.  I mean, you’re not EXACTLY RIGHT either, but you’re not WRONG.  I wish you were.  But you’re not.

I wouldn’t say I went into this movie with high expectations.  It looked like one of those hey-The-Hangover-did-well-let’s-do-a-similar-thing movies, so I expected basically what I got.  A generic, somewhat forgettable, not particularly quotable Dude Movie with some 80s nostalgia and some ham-handed life lessons about living for the moment and how to be a Good Friend to your Bros and Doing The Right Thing and all that.  Sort of dumb plot that doesn’t really work and doesn’t seem even cohesive really and a lot of gross jokes about puke and some generalized homophobia.  Oh and boobs.  Because if it’s a Dude Movie, you need the Dude Movie Trifecta–heavy drinking, boobs, and gross-out humor.  It’s Dude equivalent of the Chick Flick trifecta–shoes, chocolate, and long-lasting love with a man who used to be an noncommittal asshole.

But I digress.  In the interest of not having this review be a total downer, let me talk about some things that I thought made this movie kind of awesome or at least, like, neat or something.  First off, CRISPIN GLOVER??? Yes please.  He is my density.  I mean, my destiny.  Not only do I LOVE him, but it was also a nice nod to Back to the Future (although the joke potential in that could have been exploited far more fully).  Second, hey!  That girl from Freaks and Geeks who taught Nick to disco dance after Lindsay broke his heart!  Apparently, her name is Lizzy Caplan.  Who knew?  I guess IMDB did.  But it was pretty cool to see her still working.  Third, I did think there were a handful of funny moments in the movie that made it sort of worth seeing.  For example, when Nick calls his 9-year-old wife to scream at her for cheating on him.  That was an unexpected moment of humor in a fairly predictable movie, which was very much appreciated.

I would have liked there to be one likable/believable female character with depth in the movie.  That would have been okay with me.  All the types/tropes are there:  the mystical pixie, the whore, the bubblehead hottie, the girl with a nice rack who does it with the guy in the band in a bathtub.  And yet there isn’t a one woman in the film who isn’t just there for the men to act against.  Not that I should have expected that, but it’s always nice when they can find the space to include at least ONE cool chick.

Geoff:
Agreed, Susan. I went into this with Great Basin-level expectations, but I maintain that there has been better Dude schlock created for the masses before, The Hangover being just one example. I’ll go with you on the idea that there were a few good scenes though:

• Adam waiting uncomfortably outside the door while Lou loudly finishes impregnating his (Adam’s) sister to maintain the historical timeline.
• The reference to and use of Enrique Iglesias’ “Hero,” which almost always amuses me for some reason.
• The return of the squirrel

But the individual moments of funny just don’t carry the film as a whole, and I wanted (I wasn’t expecting, but I wanted) to leave the theater with a couple quotable lines rather than a wish that I’d waited to watch the flick on DVD.

As for the female characters, I’m thinking the filmmakers didn’t even give a shit. Even Lizzy Caplan’s character isn’t all that interesting, and she’s the one we’re supposed to watch Adam end up with. She writes for Spin. Was that alone supposed to make her seem awesome? Glad we could watch her listen to Adam’s tortured expositional monologue about accidentally killing his father (which scene came pretty much out of nowhere) before learning absolutely nothing about her in kind.

Your observations about Crispin Glover and the poorly exploited Back to the Future jokes sums up the problem for me overall. The movie’s a fun idea that never tries to do more than be a fun enough idea to get you into the theater seat. Once you’re there and you’ve forked over your cash, I find it hard to believe the studio would even mind if you got up and walked out halfway through.

Susan:
Such a cynical take, but I see your point.  I hate when we agree.

I was also waiting on a cameo from Bret Michaels (LOVE HIM) of Poison, since the band is supposedly playing at Winterfest.  Come on, what’s that guy doing that the filmmakers couldn’t get him involved?  Celebrity Apprentice?  Rock of Love VII: The One Where Bret Michaels Knocks Someone Up?  With all the cash they were forking over for stupid special effects and the rights to “Let’s Get It Started” by the Black Eyed Peas (BTWs, why on EARTH would Nick have played THAT song instead of one that was, you know, not 5 years old?  Weird choice.), you’d think they could have found a little cash to get at least a couple of the members of Poison involved.

But yeah, overall a good idea that never quite makes it all the way there.  Not plot-wise, not humor-wise, not scientific-accuracy-wise.  A bit of a let down, but an okay time if you don’t expect too much and don’t pay too much attention.  I’d echo Geoff in saying wait for the DVD, but you can probably wait for it to start streaming on Netflix instead.  There’s really no rush.